140 characters or less

Do you ever feel like you're just going through the motions? That's just...where I'm at right now. I've hit a low point and I've just been hanging out there for a while now. I don't really know how to put it into words. I put on a good bubbly happy show, but the truth is, I feel invisible. I feel as though I don't really fit in anywhere...even in the world of the internets that has always been my one place of comfort and acceptance. I've gone beyond the superficial stuff though. It doesn't really matter anymore that I'm fat and unattractive, that stuff I can hide online at least. No, now that I have taken the time to look deeper I realize that I have accomplished very little in my life that is of any worth. It's not a pity party, just a devastating realization at the age of 30, when perhaps I've already missed the opportunity to make a difference...in anything or anyone.

If I were to die today, my obituary could run on Twitter, in 140 characters or less, and sum up my contributions with characters to spare.

I don't like this place I'm in. But I wonder if there's a way out. Lord, I hope so...I pray I'll find it. My children deserve more than this. I'd like to think that maybe, just maybe, *I* deserve more than this too.