C'mon Get Happy!

If you're half the nerd I am, you are totally singing Brady Bunch music after reading that title. If you're not...well, I choose to believe *you're* the one with issues. heh

On a totally random thought, completely unrelated to this post, where did my font options disappear to? I dislike serifs! Blogger you really tick me off sometimes! But alas, I cannot conquer you WordPress, so here we are.

So I haven't posted in several weeks, and I left things on a pretty dark and depressing note, but I am here to correct that! A wise old (ok not old at all) Adrian type person said I should have a blog, and how lame is it that I have one and just can't stay motivated to keep it up?

Now, let's bring this place back to the smurfy side with some totally random things that are making me happy at the moment.

Number one! In 5 days we will celebrate the first day of Christmas break. Sure, Christmas is exciting, but I am really celebrating the fact that I have two weeks wherein I don't have to get up at the (_|_)crack of dawn and get a kid to school when he'd rather stay in bed just like me.

Numero dos! On Friday, she of the Sparkly Britches will be leaving the land of the Tarheels and flying to Hokieloma to spend Christmas with her family. TEN days I say! Which means there is ample time to squeeze in one heaping basket of fried mushrooms at Eskimo Joe's and reminisce as we do *so* well.

Letter C! On Christmas Eve eve my sister and brother-in-law, with Corgie and Weiner dog in tow, will be driving down from Idaho to spend Christmas and New Years (read: Mom's birthday) with us. My kiddos are absolutely beside themselves with excitement, and that makes me happier than just about anything.

Section D, Part I! It's cold. It's really bloomin' cold outside and I LOVE IT!

Section D, Part II! Chili...and hot chocolate...and gingerbread cookies...and COLLEGE BOWL GAMES! That is all.

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My desk is so cold I feel like an elf working at the North Pole, minus the chubby guy in the red fuzzy suit cracking his whip at me. But I will return to work now, so that I may finish in time to put up my Christmas tree tonight and no longer be counted among the Christmas slackers.

140 characters or less

Do you ever feel like you're just going through the motions? That's just...where I'm at right now. I've hit a low point and I've just been hanging out there for a while now. I don't really know how to put it into words. I put on a good bubbly happy show, but the truth is, I feel invisible. I feel as though I don't really fit in anywhere...even in the world of the internets that has always been my one place of comfort and acceptance. I've gone beyond the superficial stuff though. It doesn't really matter anymore that I'm fat and unattractive, that stuff I can hide online at least. No, now that I have taken the time to look deeper I realize that I have accomplished very little in my life that is of any worth. It's not a pity party, just a devastating realization at the age of 30, when perhaps I've already missed the opportunity to make a difference...in anything or anyone.

If I were to die today, my obituary could run on Twitter, in 140 characters or less, and sum up my contributions with characters to spare.

I don't like this place I'm in. But I wonder if there's a way out. Lord, I hope so...I pray I'll find it. My children deserve more than this. I'd like to think that maybe, just maybe, *I* deserve more than this too.

Survey says what??

Yesterday when I was going through Rogit's school papers I found a survey with a little note attached asking me to fill it out and return it. First time that has ever happened but okay, sure.

So I sat down last night to read this survey. It says it's for the improvements of our buildings and grounds. Okay, that's probably worth my time. Let's see what some of the questions are. (Not edited, minus the commentary of course, so that you can see it in it's original glory.)

1. Yes/No (apparently when you work with children you think every note you send home has to be in "check yes or no" format) the maintenance person should perform monthly checks and repairs on all playground equipment to ensure student safety. (uhhhh is this not already being done?? I'm hoping at this point that the questions get better from here)
2. Yes/No all sidewalks should be kept clear of ice and snow during School operating hours to ensure the safety of staff, students, and visitors. (This is the school who started locking the door we could park closest to when dropping off our kids. Now we have a good 50yds of sidewalk between us and the front door. Perhaps we should just strap on the ice skates this year.)
3. Yes/No should the outside gates on the south side of the elementary playground is locked to prevent students from leaving the playground undetected. (Yes you read that right! Our teachers on duty have an interesting habit of watching the kids from INSIDE the front door, especially if the wind might blow their hair or make their nose cold. So yes, a child sneaking away undetected is a very good possibility.)
4. Yes/No level sidewalk on south side of elementary so that rain and ice puddles do not accumulate for the safety of students and visitors. (The door we are required to pick our children up at has a regular lake in front of it when the slightest amount of water falls from the sky. Again, we may need ice skates when winter hits.)

At this point I'm speechless. Is my child's school really having to ASK me if these things need to be done?? It gets better. Read on.


Please rate the following items in the order of importance to you. L for least, M for medium, and H for high. (How exactly do you rate something in order but rate each one individually?)

Secure swing set into the ground at elementary (WHAT?? This swingset has been there for 10 years, has probably 10 swings and tire swings, and you know how an elementary kid can rock a swing. Seriously?? You have to ask if it should be secured into the ground?)

Replace missing boards on treehouse and remove all exposed nails at elementary (Wow. That is all.)

Repair locks and stall doors in bathrooms (These kids have enough trouble getting used to going to the bathroom alone, but maybe having that added threat of someone walking in on them at any time makes them go faster or something.)

Tighten loose baseboards in gym (I dunno, is it on the visitors side? Jeez.)

Fill in playground area with sand (Nah, they're tough. They'll probably only land on their heads or something when they fall off the monkey bars. Glass shards would probably be cheaper anyway.)

Repair broken water fountains (Who needs water? Certainly not children hard at play)

Repair gym bathrooms at high school (Those kids are old enough to pee outside behind a tree)

Put automatic deodorizers in bathrooms (Oh definitely! This obviously outranks everything on this list as priority number one! : .....)

Repair outside basketball goal at high school (Can't have them playing inside on that brand new gym floor the town paid for 10yrs ago only to have them use the elementary's gym)

Repair band room at high school (Considering part of that band room has the potential to allow something, or someone, to fall a good 10 feet if the floor collapses, I think we might put this on the list of definite maybes)


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I'm not feeling so confident in the people who are in charge of my kid from 8-3 five days a week right now.

the lazy blogger and her closet genius

Whole.E.Cow. I see that I haven't posted since the 22nd of October and remember how truly BAD I am at this whole blogging thing. Perhaps if I had a job, or ever got to leave my house, or had some adult friends to hang out with at least once every 6 months, I might have interesting things to say. Ah well. I'll keep posting when things come to me...and hope it's enough to hang onto my whopping TWO readers. heh

So anyway. I do have a story to tell!

If you know me at all you know about my Rogit. He's a whopping 6 years old now. A Kindergartener. Your typical kid, only not so typical at all. He's smart folks. He's amazingly smart. When he meets someone new it takes literally 2 minutes of conversation with him for them to look at me and say, wow, you've got a pretty amazing kid there. I swear I'm not biased. Okay so I am a little...but I'm not the type to brag on my kid, I'm not a competimommy. This kid is special.

For his birthday last month he asked for a microscope. He had found a hair from an animal and said he "desperately needed a microscope to get a closer look and see if it was a hair from a known species or if I've discovered a new species entirely." Not paraphrasing here. That's really how he talks. It doesn't stop there. Ask him about dinosaurs and he'll correct your pronunciation of their scientific names, tell you what period they lived in, what area of the world their fossils have been found in, and why that dinosaur with 3 toes is "obviously an Allosaurus and not a T-Rex because a T-rex only had 2 toes." Ask him about sharks and you'll leave knowing most every species and the identifying characteristics of each. It's amazing to watch.

He has been on the verge of reading for well over a year now. He writes cards and letters to us at home and we're easily able to tell what he's trying to say. I've noticed vast improvements in his spelling in the last couple of months. But when he brings home books from school he either has them memorized first or he gets frustrated with them and wants me to think he can't read them. I've run out of ideas on how to get him to try in front of me. Since he was a year old he has been the kid that has to perfect something before his mom sees him do it or hears him say it. So he learned a lot from television and his Memaw. At school they are still busy learning the things he knew when he was 2 years old so he's bored out of his mind and had actually been regressing in some areas.

Or so I thought.

He brought home a library book last night. Library books are fun because they don't have to have "Step 1 Reader" at the top of them, they don't have to have a reading level marked on them at all! Because they are intended to be books that we read to him. So at bed time last night we pulled his book from his bag, snuggled into bed, and I started to read. I got to read the first word. Then it was like a light bulb went on in his head and he took the book and read the entire thing to ME. I was speechless. He was beaming. Smiling like I have not seen him smile in a very long time. He was SO proud of himself, almost as proud as I was of him. The little rat has been figuring it all out when I wasn't looking and suddenly I have a closet reader.

I understand now why he's so bored at school. And when I was in school here that wasn't a problem. The teachers I had were more than willing to challenge us, give me work from the grades ahead, push us so that we were constantly learning and never bored. But my goodness how this school system has changed. It's all about bringing everyone down to a level playing field now. So for now he sits and waits. Waits for them to let him read real books. Waits for the day when he can go to a science class...another 3 years away. Waits for school to be challenging and fun like everyone promised him it would be.

Time to look for other options? Perhaps. Let me know when you think of something, because I'm fresh out of ideas.

Wherein I admit that I don't have a clue

The topic of the week has been serving. What we are called to do, in what ways we serve, etc. I realized pretty quickly that I do nothing. Certainly not much of anything that I'm really passionate about. And that led me to the realization that I don't really know WHAT I'm passionate about, if anything. I think I've hit this point in my life where I've allowed myself to become numb to everything and just simply try to exist. I have the desire to do something, I want to find whatever it is that I am called to do, I want to find something that I'm really successful in doing. But what on earth could that be?

There are things I want to do. I want to do more design work, but I lack the creativity, the tools, and perhaps even the skill. I want to dive into my photography, but I lack the knowledge and the equipment to take it to the next level. I want to work more on jewelry, but I only enjoy it when I design it, it stresses me out to try to make something for someone, and I have no outlet so my stash of stuff is turning into a lot of wasted money. I want that career I always imagined I have, but I lack direction and don't seem to be good enough at anything in particular to be productive or successful with it.

I think I waited too long to decide what I want to be when I grow up and now I'm just not anything.

If you haven't heard about the crack smoking lesbian, you haven't really been to church

Change.

It's a scary word. It immediately brings negative thoughts to mind. Change is uncertain. Change is uncomfortable. The thought of change can motivate us to stay in our ruts, to be happy with the status quo.

But change can be good. Change can be exciting, refreshing. Change can motivate us to strive for something better.

No matter which way we look at it, change is necessary. The question is which attitude we will face it with.

I grew up in a small town Baptist church. We had 60 people on a good day, 100 for a special day like Easter or Christmas. It was comfortable, friendly. It was a place that encouraged learning, healthy relationships, and love. It's where I was saved, where I was baptized, where I grew in my faith. But as time passed, change was needed. The enthusiasm was gone, the purpose was lost, and it became routine instead of inspiring, worship no longer had meaning it was just "what we do on Sunday mornings."

I can count on one hand the number of people who tried to bring about change. Any change, no matter how small, that would rekindle the fire in that church. But those people were accepted about as well as their ideas and not one of them are left in that congregation. The church is dying, perhaps already dead, left with no one but those members who have just always been there and always will be until they pass away. All stemming from of a fear of change.

I'm guilty of it too. I normally fear change. But I had reached a point in my spiritual life where I craved it. So I stepped out of the box and started attending church online at Lifechurch.tv. Obviously the traditionalists at my old church don't see it as church at all. To them I have become the bad mother who has deserted her family on Sunday mornings, the incompetent parent who is providing a bad example for my children. But for me it's about being fed. It's being able to finally, after several years, hear from God again, know that he's in control, and listen to what he wants me to hear on a regular basis. There is no bickering, no politics, no distractions to keep me preoccupied, to hurt me, to make me angry. For that, I am a better mother, I am a better wife, and, most importantly, a better Christian. It hurts to know what they think of me, but I have to remind myself that I am where I feel God has led me and that my family is healthier because I have chosen to listen.

This weekend I had the pleasure of watching a message from Steven Furtick, lead pastor of Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. He's young, he looks like a rock star, and he'd make the old church members in Mudhole, OK roll their eyes because he's not wearing a suit and tie while he preaches. When he mentioned the Karate Kid and a crack smoking lesbian in this week's sermon, those deacons up the hill would have been scrambling for a way to run him out of the pulpit before noon. And while they sat and thought about those things they would be missing inspiration from one of the most impressive young pastors I have ever heard. A truly passionate man of God.

They wouldn't hear that because he represents change. The change they fear. The change that means there are rock songs replacing their old hymns, there are sermons being broadcast on a video screen, there are people in jeans and t-shirts in a house of God. But those changes are necessary. Those changes aren't compromising beliefs, they aren't polluting the message we're trying to get across. Those changes are what are reaching the generations who have felt uncomfortable and unwelcomed in the traditional church. Those changes are what are bringing people to Christ.

Change without compromise.
Stand firm in God's word, change the approach. It's what will save churches, it's what will save people.

That other turkey day

I want to wish my Canadian family and friends a happy thanksgiving today. Even though it's entirely the wrong month and still too warm for a hoodie...Canadians baffle me with their mixed up turkey day and their just-another-excuse-to-get-off-work monthly made up holidays. Gotta love 'em! Wish we had thought of that first.

I leave you with this! The best turkey picture on the internet.

Any turkey can tango, any turkey can dance, any turkey can tango, if they had a chance.

Words to live by I say.

Have a great Thanksgiving ya'll!